Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Sacred- Texts. Legends and Sagas. Note: this is a transcript of the movie produced. Obviously the original is copyrighted and anyone. Monty Python is a looney..- -sacred- texts editor.

The strictly unofficial script of the movie, done in a fit of boredom by [AHH. Jan. 87] Touched up again by [AHH 2. Jan. 89] (How time flies) Fixed by FDW and SAW. October 9. 4. Hypertext by SAW in November 9. Note: The script ends with the words. Contents: The Cast(in order of appearance [roughly]).

KING ARTHUR : Graham Chapman. PATSY : Terry Gilliam. GUARD #1 : Michael Palin. GUARD #2 : John Cleese. MORTICIAN : Eric Idle.

CUSTOMER : John Cleese. DEAD PERSON : ? DENNIS : Michael Palin.

WOMAN : Terry Jones. BLACK KNIGHT : John Cleese. VILLAGER #1 : Eric Idle. VILLAGER #2 : Michael Palin. SIR BEDEMIR : Terry Jones.

Artoria about to pull the sword from the stone. Once the day of prophecy arrived, knights and lords from around the country gathered to be selected as king.

WITCH : ? VILLAGER #3 : John Cleese. NARRATOR: Michael Palin. SIR LAUNCELOT : John Cleese. SIR GALAHAD : Michael Palin. SIR ROBIN : Eric Idle. GOD : ? FRENCH GUARD : John Cleese.

MINSTREL : ? LEFT HEAD : Terry Jones. MIDDLE HEAD : Graham Chapman. RIGHT HEAD : Michael Palin. OLD MAN : Terry Gilliam.

With the fall of Jerusalem in 1309, the Knights of St. John retreated first to Cyprus and then to Rhodes. As the main base for the crusaders in their struggle. A demystified take on the tale of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. King Arthur: Legend of the Sword Blu-ray (2017): Starring Charlie Hunnam, Jude Law and Astrid Bergès-Frisbey. Robbed of his birthright, Arthur comes up the hard way.

"King Arthur and Lancelot" Presents: Contemporary Interpretations of the Legends of Good King Arthur and his Noble Knights of the Table Round. When you hear Merlin, the image that might come to mind is a scrawny old white dude with a long silver beard. Well, Guy Ritchie has just proved his take on the King. The strictly unofficial script of the movie, done in a fit of boredom by [AHH 01Jan87] Touched up again by [AHH 25Jan89] (How time flies) Fixed by FDW and SAW in. King's Ransom is the final quest in the Camelot quest series. Life has been quiet at the.

HEAD KNIGHT OF NEE : Michael Palin. FATHER : Michael Palin. PRINCE HERBERT : Terry Jones. GUARD #1 : Eric Idle.

GUARD #2 : ? CONCORDE : Eric Idle. OLD CRONE : ? ROGER (THE SHRUBBER) : Eric Idle. TIM (THE ENCHANTER): John Cleese. BROTHER MAYNARD: Eric Idle. SECOND BROTHER: Michael Palin. ARTHUR: Whoa there! GUARD #1: Halt! Who goes there?

ARTHUR: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle. Camelot. King of the Britons, defeator of the Saxons, sovereign. England! GUARD #1: Pull the other one! ARTHUR: I am. And this my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights.

Camelot. I must speak with your lord. GUARD #1: What, ridden on a horse? ARTHUR: Yes! GUARD #1: You're using coconuts! ARTHUR: What? GUARD #1: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin'.

ARTHUR: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this. Mercea, through- -. GUARD #1: Where'd you get the coconut?

ARTHUR: We found them. GUARD #1: Found them? In Mercea? The coconut's tropical!

ARTHUR: What do you mean? GUARD #1: Well, this is a temperate zone. ARTHUR: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin. GUARD #1: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? ARTHUR: Not at all, they could be carried. GUARD #1: What - - a swallow carrying a coconut? ARTHUR: It could grip it by the husk!

GUARD #1: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple. question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a 1 pound.

ARTHUR: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master. Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here.

GUARD #1: Listen, in order to maintain air- speed velocity, a swallow. ARTHUR: Please! GUARD #1: Am I right?

ARTHUR: I'm not interested! GUARD #2: It could be carried by an African swallow! GUARD #1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European. GUARD #2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that.. ARTHUR: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court. Camelot?! GUARD #1: But then of course African swallows are not migratory.

GUARD #2: Oh, yeah.. GUARD #1: So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway.. GUARD #2: Wait a minute - - supposing two swallows carried it together?

GUARD #1: No, they'd have to have it on a line. GUARD #2: Well, simple! They'd just use a standard creeper! GUARD #1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers? GUARD #2: Well, why not? MORTICIAN: Bring out your dead!

Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!

Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!

Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!

CUSTOMER: Here's one - - nine pence. DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead! MORTICIAN: What? CUSTOMER: Nothing - - here's your nine pence. DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead! MORTICIAN: Here - - he says he's not dead!

CUSTOMER: Yes, he is. DEAD PERSON: I'm not! MORTICIAN: He isn't. CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill. DEAD PERSON: I'm getting better! CUSTOMER: No, you're not - - you'll be stone dead in a moment.

MORTICIAN: Oh, I can't take him like that - - it's against regulations. DEAD PERSON: I don't want to go in the cart! CUSTOMER: Oh, don't be such a baby. MORTICIAN: I can't take him.. DEAD PERSON: I feel fine!

CUSTOMER: Oh, do us a favor.. MORTICIAN: I can't. CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes?

He won't. MORTICIAN: Naaah, I got to go on to Robinson's - - they've lost nine. CUSTOMER: Well, when is your next round? MORTICIAN: Thursday. DEAD PERSON: I think I'll go for a walk. CUSTOMER: You're not fooling anyone y'know. Look, isn't there. DEAD PERSON: I feel happy..

I feel happy. CUSTOMER: Ah, thanks very much. MORTICIAN: Not at all. See you on Thursday.

CUSTOMER: Right. [clop clop]. MORTICIAN: Who's that then?

CUSTOMER: I don't know. MORTICIAN: Must be a king. CUSTOMER: Why? MORTICIAN: He hasn't got shit all over him. ARTHUR: Old woman! DENNIS: Man! ARTHUR: Old Man, sorry.

What knight live in that castle over there? DENNIS: I'm thirty seven. ARTHUR: What? DENNIS: I'm thirty seven - - I'm not old! ARTHUR: Well, I can't just call you `Man'. DENNIS: Well, you could say `Dennis'. ARTHUR: Well, I didn't know you were called `Dennis.'.

DENNIS: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you? ARTHUR: I did say sorry about the `old woman,' but from the behind. DENNIS: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior! ARTHUR: Well, I AM king.. DENNIS: Oh king, eh, very nice. An' how'd you get that, eh? Watch Mediterranea Hindi Full Movie.

By. exploitin' the workers - - by 'angin' on to outdated imperialist dogma. If there's ever going to be any progress- -. Watch Pan Online Freeform more. WOMAN: Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here. Oh - - how d'you do? ARTHUR: How do you do, good lady.

I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Who's castle is that? WOMAN: King of the who? ARTHUR: The Britons.

WOMAN: Who are the Britons? ARTHUR: Well, we all are. Britons and I am your king. WOMAN: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous.

DENNIS: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship.

A self- perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes- -. WOMAN: Oh there you go, bringing class into it again. DENNIS: That's what it's all about if only people would- -. ARTHUR: Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives. WOMAN: No one live there. ARTHUR: Then who is your lord? Watch Sweet Land Online Fandango here.

WOMAN: We don't have a lord. ARTHUR: What? DENNIS: I told you. We're an anarcho- syndicalist commune. We take. it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week. ARTHUR: Yes. DENNIS: But all the decision of that officer have to be ratified. ARTHUR: Yes, I see.

DENNIS: By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,- -. ARTHUR: Be quiet! DENNIS: - -but by a two- thirds majority in the case of more- -. ARTHUR: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet! WOMAN: Order, eh - - who does he think he is?

ARTHUR: I am your king! WOMAN: Well, I didn't vote for you. ARTHUR: You don't vote for kings. WOMAN: Well, 'ow did you become king then? ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake. Excalibur. from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I. Arthur, was to carry Excalibur.

That is why I am your king! DENNIS: Listen - - strange women lying in ponds distributing swords. Supreme executive power. ARTHUR: Be quiet! DENNIS: Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power. ARTHUR: Shut up! DENNIS: I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an empereror just. ARTHUR: Shut up! Will you shut up!

DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system. ARTHUR: Shut up! DENNIS: Oh!